The Breaking Point

September 7, 2013, I finally maxed out all of my personal and sick time and it's becoming difficult to pay my bills. Throughout my journey I've been truly fine but I'm starting to reach my breaking point. I started to think about giving up because I am tired. I know that I have so many people rooting for me but I deserve this moment. I've been smiling the entire time and now I just needed this moment to cry. I had to show my followers that this journey isn't as easy as I may have made it seem. My body wasn't bouncing back quickly from my chemo treatments and it has been taking me an even longer time to recover. The pain was getting the best of  me and not being able to work was making it even worse. I had a moment and I needed it. 

4th Chemo Treatment

August 30, 2013, another day at chemo. Chemo is turning out to be a club. I truly love all the support from my friends, family, and former Dunbar Poets. Even though cancer sucks butt, it has brought out the best in so many people that I know and don't know. At this point, I'm used to what's to follow from this treatment. So let the fun begin. 

Time To Run

August 17, 2013, instead of letting cancer get the best of me, I've decided to go running. I used to run all the time but cancer got the best of me by stealing my energy. I was feeling extra energetic, so I got out of bed, put on my workout clothes, and headed to Loch Raven Reservoir. This was the best decision that I made today even though I couldn't run as long as I wanted too. Today was a good day. I felt like my old self again. 

3rd Chemo Treatment

August 9, 2013, each treatment is becoming harder and harder but I'm still fighting. The sickness hits about three days after I administer my Neulasta injection.  This medications is saving my life but it will definitely make you weak and stronger at the same time. I have to push through it because I'm not even halfway to the finish line. 

My Love Is Back

August 2, 2013, my baby Jalen came back home from summer vacation. Jalen is my son, my life, my world, and my everything. Throughout my cancer journey thus far, Jalen has been handling it very well. I wasn't sure how he was going to take it but he is a lot stronger then I anticipated. I explained to him everything that I will be going through and I told him that I'm going to need him to help me out a lot more and he was up for the challenge. If I never been proud of anything in my entire life, Jalen is the one thing that makes me extremely proud. I'm an awesome mom. I love my love. 

Smile You're Beautiful

August 1, 2013, I'm feeling so damn beautiful. Who would've thought that cancer would have such a positive effect on me. As I've been handling my journey, I sought out to be more positive and to let this energy be my reason to help others. I love smiling, being silly, and being at peace with my life. So far, I don't have one doubt in my mind that I can't beat cancer and I'm going to let my smile glow. Cancer will not win. 

Bald Is Beautiful

July 27, 2013, my hair continued to fall out and it began to look patchy, so I got Rafael to give me a very close cut. I'm very proud of myself for hanging in there with losing my hair because I had a lot of beautiful hair but I know that it will grow back so I didn't give it much thought. This was my time to embrace my face. I've hidden behind my hair for so long, so now lets see what Glee really looks like. I'M STILL BEAUTIFUL WITHOUT MY HAIR!

Pink Bra Photo Shoot

July 27, 2013, I'm headed to Laurel, Md to go swimming and to have fun with my friends by doing a photo shoot. So today, Chanel got everyone together so that we can do a photo shoot and to have fun. I wanted to do the photo shoot before my hair started to come out but chemo had other plans for me. I enjoyed this day so much. I was acting silly as always and I had the chance to forget all about having cancer. I love to swim and this was exactly what I needed. Today was a great day. 

Cancer Is No Fun

July 20, 2013, wine festival weekend and I can't go. This is the third year that me and Rafael would've attended. We are trying to make this a yearly tradition and cancer just had to get in the way of that this year. So instead of feeling down, when I actually had the chance when I began to feel better, I hung out with Rafael and his friends at Bar Stools, and I had a blast. I can't sit back and let cancer take over my life. I have to continue to push to live. 

2nd Chemo Treatment

July 19, 2013, today was the day that I received my second chemo treatment. So far, the treatments haven't been as bad as I thought but I also have to remember that I'm still healthy for the most part. Everyone around me has been pulling their weight to help me by taking me to and from my chemo treatments. After my treatments, I usually don't start to feel really sick until I give myself my Neulasta injection. This injection is administered the day after my treatment and given in my stomach. This medication helps rebuild my white blood cells that the chemo has destroyed. The side-effects from this medicine really makes me sick. My bones ache and its very hard for me to walk. It makes me very lightheaded and I did have an occurrence when I passed-out. I'm learning more and more everyday about this godawful disease but I will not give up the fight. I'm hanging in there.

I'm Losing My Hair

July 12, 2013, this is the day that my hair started coming out from the chemo. I wasn't upset that this was happening because I was more focused on getting healthy. The more I thought about it, I began to wonder "I'm finally about to look like I'm sick" but that wasn't true. I got a hair cut the next day and I have to admit, I finally saw my face for the first the time and I was even more beautiful then before. Cancer was still losing and I was winning. Hair or No Hair, I still rock. 

Friend or Foe

July 10, 2013, I started to notice that the people that I've been friends with and called my friends, weren't acting like my friends anymore. Yes, it was tough for me to spread the horrible news of me having cancer but it's me that have cancer, not my friends. As time went on, I began to notice even more how some of them were acting so I began to focus on me and I cut them off. I have only one life to live and if I fight, I will have the chance to kick cancer butt so that I can continue to live. My life and my fight is more important to me than for me to be concerned with the people who I called/thought were my friends. 

Wigs, Wigs, Wigs

July 8, 2013, so today I've decided to try on some wigs so me & my friend Mario went wig shopping. We went to a wig shop in Perry Hall, MD and we had a blast. I never realized how expensive hair can be. I have a head full of hair so trying on the wigs was just for fun. I've decided that I wasn't going to waste my money so throughout my treatments, once I lose my hair, I'm just going to wear hats. Hats are more fun anyway. 

The Family Meeting

July 6, 2013, I decided that me and my family needed to have a meeting. This meeting was to discuss if my health took a turn for the worst, my wishes for the care of Jalen (my son), where my life insurance policies were located, appointing an advances directive, my burial wishes, and the location of my pass codes to my financial institutions. The meeting went as I expected it to. Got to love my family.   

Follow-up After 1st Chemo

July 5, 2013, today I wasn't feeling good but I had to go to the doctors for a follow-up appointment. The nurse re-checked my blood levels and asked me some questions. From my first treatment I've experienced blurred vision, diarrhea, headaches, pain in my tailbone, hips, and legs, I passed out, and my taste-buds began to change. The nurse stated that those side-effects are normal but I shouldn't be passing out. She suggest that I drink more fluids or I come in for hydration. Well, all of my results came back normal and I was sent home. So far, so good. 

Plastic Surgery Consult

July 2, 2013, today I had an appointment with my plastic surgeon to learn about the different reconstruction methods. I was excited because they had an option that involved me using my belly fat to make new breast even though he told me that I didn't have enough. He went over the procedures, examined me, and took pictures. I wouldn't receive reconstruction until I finished my radiation treatments but before radiation, tissue expanders will be in place. Today was fun but I was nervous. Everything is happening so fast. 

1st Chemo Treatment

June 28, 2013, the big day has arrived, yup, my first chemo treatment. Today officially started my journey. Not to sure what to expect but today was going to be a good day. It was nice to have my father and mother in one room but these two are truly something but they had me laughing. My treatment today was 8hrs long. My body was filled with medicines that could kill me and save my life. At that moment, cancer became real. 

Port-A-Cath Surgery

June 24, 2013, my first surgery. My day started at 6am and I got no sleep the night before. My mind was racing and I was nervous as hell. As I got prepped, I began to relax. I knew this moment was coming and I felt like I was in good hands. As I started to count down from 10, I was out, and when I awaken, I was in the recovery room. Needless to say, this surgery was a walk in the park. 

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My Agenda

I begin to notice that everyone's breast cancer treatments are different. My breast surgeon suggested that I start my chemo first, surgery second, radiation third, and reconstruction fourth. She explained to me that chemo was going to be the hardest part. My tumor was very huge in size so she wanted to shrink it first by the use of the chemo. I have to receive twelve cycles of chemo with the first six cycles being the hardest. She stated that this will be a year long journey and after my first six cycles, it was going to be smooth sailing after that. At that moment I knew I had to get ready to fight and so training began.

Food, Drinks, Fun

June 23, 2013, today I had to live because tomorrow I have my first surgery. My great friend Rafeal and I are hanging out in Downtown Baltimore. We drove around and found a nice spot called HomeSlyce and enjoyed drinks and pizza. At this moment, I began to get sad because tomorrow starts my journey and I'm not ready for my life to change. Tomorrow I will be having my port-line placed, my first surgery, to start my chemo treatments. My first treatment is scheduled for Friday, June 28th, so tonight I lived and I've done some things that I've never done before and I don't regret any of it.  

PA Trip

June 23, 2013, yes I finally feel normal again. Today my friends and I are headed to PA for a cookout/pool party and I'm so freaking excited. I so needed this trip and I was ready to enjoy some of my summer, eat good food and crabs, and swim. As a surprise, all of my friends wore pink or breast cancer shirts to support me. I was overwhelmed with joy. I Love My Friends!

Repeat PET/CT Scan

June 21, 2013, today I had to repeat my PET/CT scan due to having some type of blockage in my neck. They gave me Valium to relax and this was a really nice drug. So for this procedure, everything was performed the same way and at that moment I became radioactive. Lol Nothing really exciting about this day. Another week of appointments completed so now it's time to enjoy my weekend festivities. I'm going to PA in the morning. 

Biopsy/Genetic Testing

June 19, 2013, still moving right along. Since my PET/CT showed that the cancer had spread to my lymph nodes on my left side, I had to get them biopsied. This biopsy was painful but of course I didn't complain. Since this day was full of appointments, I also had to do genetic testing. Since my families kept things like having cancer a secret, I'm not quite sure if it's hereditary but as for now I'm the first and only person on both sides of my family that developed breast cancer. I got chosen to be the lucky one. Genetic testing is when the lab examines my DNA to see if any of my strands have any mutations. A mutation is when any of my DNA letters don't match up, which causes a mutations that could result as a positive result and this will determine what type of additional surgery that will need to be performed. There were three levels of positive results but I don't remember them all. I do remember that if I had a positive result, in addition to getting my breast removed, I would also have to have my uterus and ovaries removed as well but if negative, no additional surgeries are needed and then we have no clue to why I developed breast cancer. After hearing the doctor state the conclusion if my results came back positive or negative really made me nervous. 

Oncologist

June 18, 2013, my first visit to meet my oncologist. My oncologist went over the medications that I will be receiving during my chemo therapy sessions. With me being diagnosed with being HER2+, which is considered to be one of the more aggressive types of breast cancers, and my medication regiment is as follows: 1. Docetaxel (Taxotere) and 2. Carboplatin 3. Trastuzumab (Herceptin) & 4. Pertuzumab. I will only be receiving 6 cycles of Docetaxel (Taxotere) and Carboplatin, witch are considered the very hard chemo meds due to them killing all cells in the human body, good and bad. After my 6th cycle, I will no longer be receiving Pertuzumab and I will continue to receive Trastuzumab (Herceptin) for an additional 6 cycles. 

Results from PET/CT Scan

June 17, 2013, my doctor confirmed that my cancer had spread to my lymph nodes under my left armpit. She stated that with the removal of my left breast, I will also have to have my lymph nodes on that side, removed as well. Not to happy to hear this news but I was happy that it didn't spread to any of my organs.

MRI

June 14, 2013, second day of my journey. Today I had to get another test performed to see if the cancer had spread. It still hasn't quite set in that I have breast cancer. So far two appointments have been completed. I'm about to become well known at Mercy Medical. Sucks that it took for me to have cancer to finally have a social life. Just wished it was under different circumstances. 

PET/CT Scan

June 13, 2013, the first appointment to start my journey. As I arrived, I knew that it was real, I have cancer. Not sure to why or how but I knew that I had to get ready to fight and I sure was going to put up a good battle. It was time to see where or if the cancer had spread throughout my body.