Thank You

December 30, 2013, I decided to cook for my Dunbar Poet ladies to say thank you. These wonderful amazing women went out of their way to host the happy hour fundraiser and I had to give something back to them. I couldn't do much, but I could cook and I knew they liked to eat. Dinner was at my house at 6pm and of course, they all were late. The dinner was themed, we all had to wear onesis's and we had a blast. This was truly a night full of laughs, drinking, eating, and dancing. I couldn't have asked God to place a better group of women in my life as he already did. I'm truly blessed. 

Radiation Fitting

January 3, 2014, after my tenth chemo treatment, I headed to my next appointment. Today I had to get fitted so that I could start my radiation treatments on Monday, January 13, 2014. My treatments are five days a week, thirty minutes a day, for five weeks. This is my next chapter in my journey and it is moving quite fast. As I laid on the table while my measurements were being taken, apart of me still can't believe that I had breast cancer. So after being poked, scanned, and molded, I was finished. Today was a very emotional day but still I smile.

10th Chemo Treatment

January 3, 2014, Happy New Year! Today was not a good day. For the past two weeks, I felt like my normal old self again and I had a blast. Not a thought went through my mind about me being sick because I didn't feel like I was sick. I was back, back at the place where I allowed the people to administer poison into my body. Yup, chemo. So as I waited for my lab results to come back, I enjoyed my usual breakfast, that I could actually taste, and I began to cry. I cried because I was tired and frustrated. I feel great, I mean extremely great but for me to mentally know that I'm sick, is starting to get the best of me. It was easier for me to accept that I was sick when I felt it but accepting it now, was way more difficult. My results came back and my numbers were low. Fuck!!! I had to mentally get myself together because the fight must continue. Since my white blood cell count was low, I have to be extra caution of germs by washing my hands more frequently, avoiding crowds of people, wearing a mask outside, and trying not to get any cuts. My red blood cell count was low also, so I have to intake more iron rich foods before it drops too low and I have to get a blood transfusion and we all know how I feel about that. Also, my potassium was low, I take medication for that but I have to increase my potassium intake with potassium rich foods. Yup, I'm back at playing, "What can I do to Increase My Numbers" and I'm getting really tired of losing. I took a deep breath, got myself together, and told myself "You got this!" You've come to far to give up now," and "God has your back." At that moment I realized that the fight must go on. I refuse to lose again. I'm going to win and I smiled.

Lymphedema

December 27, 2013, today I received my last fill for my expanders and I also have a physical therapy appointment. I started to experience some swelling and pain in my left hand and some unusual lumps in my left arm, which turned out to be the onset of lymphedema. I discussed this with my physical therapist and she did my usual arm treatments to reduce the fluid build-up and it helped. I also received a compression sleeve and a gauntlet today. These items are used to keep the swelling down in my left arm and hand. I'm going to get fitted to receive two custom sleeves and gauntlets. One so that I can wear during the day and one that I can sleep in at night. Lymphedema is another disease that is incurable but it is treatable. Now I'm faced with another battle to fight but it isn't as bad as chemo. 

Happy Hour Fundraiser

December 23, 2013, today was the last Monday for my happy hour and I was ready to turn-up. I wasn't able to attend the other happy hours due to me being sick and not fully recovered from my surgery. It felt so good to see so many people that I haven't seen since high school and they all came out to support me. We all laughed, drank, ate, acted silly, danced, and played pool. I couldn't have asked for a better night. I had a blast. 

9th Chemo Treatment

December 13, 2013, today I received my ninth chemo treatment of Herceptin and it was smooth sailing. I was so happy today because my good friend Mario attended chemo with me and we were acting so silly. I enjoy sharing my chemo moments with my close friends so that they can get a clear sense of what I actually go through. All of my numbers came back great so today was definitely a good day. After chemo, me and Mario hung-out in White Marsh and got caught-up with what was going on in each of our personal lives. I love my friends to death. They Rock! 

Time To Get Filled

November 27, 2013, today I will receive my first fill in my tissue expanders. My plastic surgeon suggested that I receive 300cc of fluid to stretch my muscle to receive a desired size of C cup implants. Today I will be receiving 100cc and every Friday, I will be receiving and additional 50cc until I reach 300cc. To fill my expanders, a needle was placed inside my chest to my expander. A magnetic device is used to find the precise location to insert the needle. Also, the needle was slightly pulled out of the expander, to reach my chest wall cavity, to remove any excess fluid build-up. Since my chest was still numb from my surgery, I didn't feel anything. 

  

8th Chemo Treatment / Drainage Tubes

November 22, 2013, today I will be receiving my eighth chemo treatment (Herceptin only) and having my drainage tubes removed from my chest, I'm nervous as hell. All I could think about is the pain that I'm about to endure from the tubes being removed. I had two drainage tubes, one on each side of my breast area, to collect the excess fluid build-up in my chest cavity. I had to drain each bulb daily to keep track of the amount of fluid that accumulated but my right drain wasn't draining properly. Even though all of the fluid  wasn't excreted from my body via the drains, I had to get a needle inserted into the cavity to remove it. As I waited patiently and nervously for this to happen, I calmed myself by thinking of other things. Once it was time to have my drains removed, I was ready. It turned out not to be as bad as I expected. I was happy. No More Tubes!!!

Physical Therapy

December 6, 2013, today I went to see my breast surgeon for a follow-up to see how I was recovering from my surgery. Due to the surgery, I lost some of my range of motion in my left arm because of the twenty lymph nodes that were removed. She asked me to lift both of my arms above my head and I could barely hold my left arm up straight. She told me that I was "cording", which is caused from the lymph nodes being removed, so I had to start physical therapy. I now go to physical therapy once a week and my range of motion is improving. I didn't realize how important it is to be able to move your arms at full range until I was unable to do so. 

Fundraiser's

November 18, 2013, throughout my journey, there has been three fundraisers raised in my honor to help out with my medical and living expenses due to me exhausting all of my sick and personal time at work. I alleviated some of my expenses by seeking help from breast cancer programs but that wasn't enough. My cousin Starr raised funds via a webpage called "Give Forward" and she also held a bake sale. My classmates from Dunbar hosted a happy hour every Monday starting from November 25, 2013 until December 23, 2013 to raise funds as well. Also, many of my followers from Instagram mailed and Western Union donations. I am so blessed to have these wonderful people in my life. I appreciate each and everyone who was able to make a donation. My team rock. #teamglee

Cancer Free

November 19, 2013, I received a phone call today from my breast surgeon. I've been waiting for about five days now to get the results from my pathology report. As my doctor began to speak, I could tell by her tone, that she was smiling on the other end. She began to say that she got my results from my report and that I no longer have any cancer in my body, we got it all, you are now in Remission. I was so happy that I began to cry. I am so proud of myself for fighting everyday and giving cancer a good ass whipping. I beat cancer in five months but my journey wasn't over. 

My Job

November 13, 2013, more bad news. Today I received a letter in the mail from my job stating that FMLA only covers me until November 26, 2013 due to me exhausting my time. I got really upset but there wasn't anything that I could do since I couldn't return back to work until January 6, 2014. Instead of letting this get the best of me, I did my research to make sure that my job wasn't doing anything illegal and then I sought out for resources to get help. I'm not the type of person to just sit around and not do anything, so I wasn't going to let this get the best of me. I saw this as another opportunity that God has placed in my path to make me stronger. Financially I was okay, so I decided to just let this be until I got released from my doctor. I'm going to get my job back. I'm claiming it. 

I've Lost My Breast but Not My Smile

November 11, 2013, today is the big day, oh boy. It was weird because I wasn't nervous, I didn't cry, or have any negative thoughts, I was ready. I had my team with me and it was huge. The office was extremely busy this morning and of course they got a little behind. As I entered the operating room, my team was ready and so was I. All I remember from that point on was counting down from ten and then I woke-up in the recovery room. My surgery was for five hours but it felt like five minutes. I had both of my breast removed and twenty lymph nodes removed from my left armpit. I looked around and I said, I made it. Now it was time to heal and I smiled. 

Homecoming

November 8, 2013, today I was excited because it was my high school homecoming and I've been planning on going for months. As I went to get the mail, I noticed that I received a letter from my doctor office. I opened my mail and it was my lab results. Due to my white blood cell count being low, I couldn't attend my homecoming, I was pissed. I could have worn a mask but I didn't want to take that risk of getting sick due to me having to have surgery on Monday. So, instead of me feeling down, I had some visitors to brighten my day. Got to love that Poet Pride. Dunbar Poets class of 2000.

Pre-op

November 4, 2013, today I went to the hospital for my pre-op appointment. The nurse began to look over my paperwork to see what test I've already completed so that she wouldn't be performing the same test twice. As she reviewed the results, she stated to me that I was anemic. I'm really getting tired of having all of these health problems from this stupid cancer. Well, the count down has begun and I'm not ready for my surgery. Monday will be here before I know it and I have to get myself mentally prepared. My life is about to change but at least I've made it this far. I have to fine the silver lining in every situation. Cancer Sucks!!!

Onesis Party

November 1, 2013, after having such a wonderful day at chemo, I had to get ready to attend my first Onesis Party. Since I wasn't going to be able to participate in my friend birthday celebration, due to me having to have surgery, we decided to have an early celebration. I headed to Target to purchase my onesis and then I was on my way to Laurel, MD to my friend Marcia's home. I'm really excited to be going because I really needed to get out of the house and feel like my normal self again. I was tired of being sick. Cancer Sucks!

7th Chemo Treatment

November 1, 2013, today I received my seventh chemo treatment. This was my first treatment that I went to by myself and I drove. I was excited because I knew that I was finally done with receiving the harsher chemo meds. Today, I only received Herceptin. My labs came back great and for the first time, my potassium was actually in the normal range, I was extremely excited. So, since I didn't have to receive any potassium meds, my appointment only lasted for three hours instead of eight. This was a great day. 

Follow-up Before Surgery

October 24, 2013, today I had a follow-up appointment with my breast surgeon. It was time for me to move forward with my next chapter, my surgery. My surgery was scheduled for November 11, 2013 but I had to receive another cycle of chemo, Herceptin only, and I had to have my pre-op work done as well. As she discussed my schedule, I got overwhelmed with everything that I had to do. This list got longer and longer and I became so nervous. She was very impressed with the results of my tumor size because the chemo completely shrunk it. Even though she stated that the hard part was over, I wasn't ready to be cut open. Reality was setting in. 

Blood Transfusion

October 16, 2013, since my red blood count has dropped even lower during my last chemo treatment, my oncologist wanted me to come back in to receive fluids and to get my blood redrawn. If my red blood count came back below normal, I would have to have a blood transfusion. We all have our beliefs and I just didn't agree with receiving a blood transfusion if I needed it. I started to get depressed but I had to figure out a way to beat it. I researched foods that increased red blood cell count and I tried them. The number one food that increased it significantly was beef liver and I didn't like that either, but I ate it. I ate it for two days and I prayed so hard that it had increased. In addition to the liver, I also ate beets, which I love. So, I waited patiently for my results, and long and behold, my numbers increased. I didn't need a blood transfusion and I cried. 

Finger Nails

October 14, 2013, as the days went on, I started to notice a drastic change in my finger nails. The nurse did inform me that the chemo would effect my nails also but I wasn't expecting this. I was experiencing serve pain that caused swelling, bleeding, puss, a foul odor, and discoloration. The chemo was actually eating my finger nail bed. I discussed my symptoms with my nurse and she advised me to soak my finger nails in bleach and water. Soaking them eliminated the smell, puss and bleeding but I still had the pain, that eventually went away. I guess they were 100% serious when they said that chemo is actually killing you and you have to fight to survive. 

6th Chemo Treatment

October 11, 2013, today is the day that I will be receiving my last cycle of Taxotere, Carboplatin, and Pertuzumab but my Herceptin will continue for twelve more cycles. This was my last cycle of the harsh chemo medications and I must say that I'm very proud of myself for not giving up or giving in. As always, I'm preparing myself for the sickness to kick in. Time to continue to fight.

5th Chemo Treatment

September 20, 2013, back to my usual schedule and I must say that time is really moving fast. Today went as every other treatment and I'm ready to endure the side-effects to come. As the days went on, the symptoms kicked in and I began to fight. I fought and fought but this treatment got the best of me, I was really sick. On September 28, 2013, my body began to ache, I could barely walk, and I was feeling extremely weak, so I paged my doctor. I was instructed to go the emergency room, so I did. On top of the previous symptoms, I was experiencing some shortness of breath also. I had to get a CT Scan with contrast, EKG, Chest X-Ray, and blood work. All of my test came back normal except for my blood work. My electrolytes were extremely low, so I had to receive IV fluids, potassium, and magnesium. I started crying and I told my family that I don't want to receive my sixth chemo treatment. I'm tired, my body is tired, but I know that I've came too far to try to give up now. I just pray that I make it through my last harsh cycle, not just by living, but also by not suffering from the pain.