10th Chemo Treatment

January 3, 2014, Happy New Year! Today was not a good day. For the past two weeks, I felt like my normal old self again and I had a blast. Not a thought went through my mind about me being sick because I didn't feel like I was sick. I was back, back at the place where I allowed the people to administer poison into my body. Yup, chemo. So as I waited for my lab results to come back, I enjoyed my usual breakfast, that I could actually taste, and I began to cry. I cried because I was tired and frustrated. I feel great, I mean extremely great but for me to mentally know that I'm sick, is starting to get the best of me. It was easier for me to accept that I was sick when I felt it but accepting it now, was way more difficult. My results came back and my numbers were low. Fuck!!! I had to mentally get myself together because the fight must continue. Since my white blood cell count was low, I have to be extra caution of germs by washing my hands more frequently, avoiding crowds of people, wearing a mask outside, and trying not to get any cuts. My red blood cell count was low also, so I have to intake more iron rich foods before it drops too low and I have to get a blood transfusion and we all know how I feel about that. Also, my potassium was low, I take medication for that but I have to increase my potassium intake with potassium rich foods. Yup, I'm back at playing, "What can I do to Increase My Numbers" and I'm getting really tired of losing. I took a deep breath, got myself together, and told myself "You got this!" You've come to far to give up now," and "God has your back." At that moment I realized that the fight must go on. I refuse to lose again. I'm going to win and I smiled.